Identity Crisis -of Sorts

It’s in those times, when you’re ready to do a full-on overhaul; because nothing you’ve done seems right, when you have to ask yourself the hard questions: “Who am I? …Do I even have a style?” It’s as if all the sudden, or actually maybe it’s been progressively happening for a while… anyway it is in this moment… that I admit I can’t stand the color of my kitchen!

Oh sure, like half of America, I’ve been watching Fixer Upper. And I’ve convinced myself that unless Chip and JoJo Gaines come and do a complete renovation; tear down walls, access all natural light and put up as much shiplap as we can find, my home will never be complete. Of course, without any real experience taking care of animals, I consider myself to be a farm girl. So naturally I have a tendency to think my home should resemble a farmhouse… But in reality I’m far more traditional (and my backyard is more pool than lawn). I do appreciate country decor; primitive, traditional and inspired by folk art. I really love English Cottage. I can be carried away by the contrasting elegant and rural touches of French Country… the idea of a beautiful chandelier with tear drop glass prisms over a rustic farm table. Swoon. I’ve been known to walk out of Pier I with curtains replicating fabrics straight out of Bombay. I love my traditional Irish plaid wool blanket we brought home from the Emerald Isle (it’s my favorite throw for the back of our rocker)! Maybe my “look” is considered eclectic? But I don’t want to be eclectic! What does that really mean anyway? Hodgepodge-esque? (Which is even more upsetting when you add in that on any given day I’m really inclined to feel like I live in a toy store!)

Thankfully, before I got too crazy, my mother talked me out of painting all of the refurbished brick in my living room around the fireplace. It seemed far less permanent to paint the walls a trendy light blue/gray. So in true DIY form I put down drop cloths and rolled out a color coating adjacent to the brick, and fortunately I only covered 1 and half walls before I came to my senses and realized I hated it. It’s sooo bad. Ugh! But I really like the black cast-iron-ish paint we put over the out-dated brass fireplace frame. And I love the darker stain I put on the mantle. Baby steps. Slowly I’m figuring it out, I’m thinking I am Country Cottage (it makes sense in my head)… and soon I will tackle that kitchen. 


  1. 😂 that’s so funny! You have a beautiful and inviting home! I don’t know styles well enough to say what I think it would be, but I know it’s a home where friends and family are always welcome, you’re raising four beautiful children with safety and space, and it has a rich family history. I also know every update you’ve made is timeless! Altogether, I think you have a great style!

    1. Thanks Ray 🙂 I do hope that others always feel welcome, that’s nice… And more valuable to me than a style… which you couldn’t define either, lol!

  2. Good insights into what we all go through I’m sure. To update or upgrade or not. It would be interesting to see the before and after pictures. I’m not sure I have a style perse, but I know what I like and what I want when I see it. Good luck with the transition Sadie 🙂

  3. Lovely essay. I relate completely. In my fantasy I have several kitchens in different styles along with other rooms in the hose. Eclectic is not so bad: picking paint for the walls can be difficult.Those HGTV shows can be a bad influence on or peace of mind! Ha Ha!

  4. I love this post! We have yet to own a house, but I find myself browsing kitchens that are on the market, wondering if we could bring in the natural light and open things up without Chip and Joanna… If only they could live in all 50 states and renovate everywhere! 🙂

  5. Loved reading this Sadie. I can understand the cannot find a style thing. I’m pretty happy with my kitchen on the whole, although I want to change some things here and there. The real dilemma for me at this moment is the master bedroom. I need to find a design that works for me with plenty of storage as I’m still living out of those plastic boxes bought from MI many years ago. They served us well when J was a student but now they really need to go….in the garage with the tools!
    As for your kitchen and home I too imagine it to be very welcoming. We really should compare notes!

    1. You’re so sweet! I understand the storage issue, it seems like organization is a never ending issue. I’m thinking a little paint can solve my kitchen woes… A little paint, new countertops and maybe a subway tile backsplash. Lol!

  6. Lol! I hear ya about the toy store;) I have to say I love your style! It’s pretty and classic…can’t wait to see the house when you’re done!!

  7. Hahaha oh boy, do I relate to this. I don’t have a style…I just like what I like, and hopefully it all goes together or I will just make it go together…
    Sometimes a change is as good as a holiday, but on the other hand, often the holiday is cheaper! Looking forward to your pics 🙂

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