Melancholy

In spite of everything I believe in, I have had to come to terms with the notion that I am pensively displaced. It’s not really pensively depressed or sad so it’s not exactly melancholy. But I like to say melancholy, except I say it like Megamind, pronounced Mi-lon-kah-lee. (Side note: I should do a post called my life as a cartoon character, since most of my references are from cartoons.) A few weeks ago I decided that I was going to get my hair cut short. This was to force me into having to do my hair, because years of being pregnant, nursing and changing diapers, etc. had turned me into the kind of mother who constantly threw my hair back into this pony tail turned half bun thing. I didn’t want to be this person any more. I wanted to represent myself as someone who could handle it all. A mom who also took the time to pull herself together. Clearly it doesn’t come naturally for me, I’d rather wear yoga pants around the clock and never have to put on a stitch of make-up. Which brings me to my next issue. My face. Oh my goodness, when did all of these age spots show up? Grrr. I always thought I was the kind of person that would “grow old gracefully.” And then you see yourself (or I saw myself) in some impromptu family shots and your like (I’m like) is that what I look like? For goodness sake! The next thing I know I’m headed to the Clinique counter to get that age spot remover- the one where they show that spotted egg that turns into the flawless egg. And I’m talking to the lady at the counter who is explaining to me that I have to use this forever or they will come back. To which I’m thinking forever? Using some product (that she assured me is not bleach) to change my face (or rather bring back my face thank you) goes against everything I believe in already! But apparently I’m vain, so I bought it. (However, I am happy to report that has been returned unopened, not that I would judge anyone who has done otherwise, I get it.)
In other inconsistent news I have colored my gray. I had randomly gotten some in the past without so much alarm, but after my fourth child molting (you know that thing that moms go through a few months after delivery where the body goes through crazy fluxes and has a huge loss of hair?), my new growth started coming in solid gray. It was a little ridiculous. I was getting a complete new growth of baby bangs in solid gray. It was undeniable, and for a second I considered just letting it happen. I thought if I go solid gray now, then I’ll be like Steve Martin or Cooper Anderson and never appear to age. Then my younger sister lovingly explained to me that it’s not the same and I had to agree that I wasn’t ready for that yet. So off I went to the salon, and it did make me feel better. Which brings me full circle to my point. 

By the way my hair is currently in a shorter pony tail.

21 comments

  1. Good Morning Sadie,
    You know, I read your post and it made me smile. I think often times as moms we often “let ourselves go” completely unintentionally because all of our love, care, and time goes into our families. (I can so relate to your post as I am sitting here in Elsa pajamas). Just remember to never feel bad for giving yourself a tiny bit of TLC. Hang in there mommy. From the looks of things, you are doing just fine. 🙂 Have an awesome Labor Day weekend!

  2. Sadie, I love your honesty in this post!
    Being a mum is an amazing journey and one that takes sacrifice and often that means your needs/wants come last. Pre-kids, I used to fuss over what I would wear and would hardly ever leave the house without make up, but now it sometimes takes so much effort to do all that especially when the kids have been sick and I’m so tired…..I most definitely still take the effort to look presentable on work days, but on days I don’t work….I don’t fuss so much….a good pair of skinny jeans (more presentable than yoga pants in my view ;P), mascara, some blush and a bright lipstick make me feel better. PS. Wear your hair out!! Live a little 🙂

  3. Oh Sadie, you are a lovely young lady! Beautiful in every way for sure! your heart is golden and you are doing an amazing job! I long ago thought oh my age spots, grey but now I am very happy and feel that I truly have some wisdom ha ha to go along with it!or I hope I do! You are really amazing and this post just shows how amazing!

  4. I love your honesty, too, Sadie, and I think you’re beautiful inside and out! I can totally relate to the gray — one day my daughters sat by my side counting — then it dawned on me they were counting MY gray hairs! :/

    Have a wonderful weekend, Sadie!

  5. Oh Sadie, I feel your pain! I recently bought some anti-wrinkle cream because yup, my forehead was no longer completely smooth. It should be a rule that you cannot have pimples and wrinkles at the same time. As for makeup, who cares? I only ever wear it when I have a big outing or something big happening at work, which is not often at all. And I have freckles, which most people would want to hide, but I embrace them. Besides, I would look silly with freckles all over my arms, but none on my face lol

  6. Well…Sadie, I remember when Rachel and I were looking through a photo album(she was around 4 yrs. old). She asked me very innocently and concerned “Mommy, did it hurt when you changed?” Wanting to make her feel better, I said “No, not at all.” Then I thought about her humorous question and I said to myself, “Yes, yes it did!”

  7. Aww. . Firstly hugs for you Sadie. You have put them all so well in word’s. It’s a part of life and I am sure you are doing great mommy. 🙂 Few weeks back, I noticed my first few greys and went running to show it to my hubby. He just tied up my hair and said, look it’s perfect now.. haha.. So dont worry about things on which we have no control and is part of everyones life. Enjoy your weekend dear xoxo

      1. You are welcome dear. We are one of the lucky ones to have partners who keep our spirit up and positive at all times. 😉 Btw, did I ever mention, ‘I <3 Ur Blog' and food in there. Cheers to you.. 🙂

  8. You are so funny! You are gorgeous, if I look like you in 9 years I will have improved on my current spots and wrinkles!

    PS…you rock a pony tail;)

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