stay at home mom

Visions of Grandeur – Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Mom

I love my family. I love my children. I love that we, as a family, have the opportunity for me to stay-at-home. I never want to take that for granted. That said, I have more to give! Ok that’s an overstatement, I’m exhausted. Maybe it is more accurate to say I desire to do more.

I don’t want to quit my day job. I don’t want to give up my nights and weekends, sacrificing our only all-member family time, for a part-time job. But I do want a connection to the outside world. As of late, that yearning has lead me down a path of expression through blogging; writing and dabbling in the art of photography- specifically food photography. I’m inspired to write short stories, mostly in the form of plays and dialogues- but first I need to get the kids on the bus. It’s the regular routine of changing the baby’s diaper, making breakfast, packing lunches, cleaning up breakfast, getting the kids dressed (or checking what they have dressed themselves in), inspecting teeth, braiding hair, etc. It’s a sigh of relief when the oldest two out of four are on the bus and on their way fully prepared.

Now would be a great time to enjoy a cup of coffee and jot down that funny thought I had earlier! What was that line again? …But realistically, first I should probably start the dishwasher anyway. That reminds me I have a load of dish towels in the dryer. Crap, the dish towels are still in the washing machine. I need to bring this load of boys clothes upstairs so I can dry the dish towels. “Kids, we’re going upstairs.”

Laundry, my nemesis. They say write about what you know. How can I personify laundry? A dark, looming presence always growing in strength, a force my heroine has to face head on. A little dark maybe, but not untrue. Meanwhile in the real world, what is Noah playing with? It looks like he is in his sister’s jewelry box.

“Oh no, mom, you have to see this!” Elijah yells. Ah! Noah has painted his bangs with nail polish. Oh Noah, I’ve already cleaned up two large spills from you this morning! (Which meant his sister wasn’t on the bus fully prepared, because her baby brother swiped her water bottle -that he poured all over my comfy chair- as if I was going to sit down anyway).

“Noah, No!” I say realizing that at this point it’s not going to make a difference. Let’s get you into the tub. Where is my nail polish remover without acetone… “Stay here.” Okay, I’m back let’s get off that diaper. Plop! Are you kidding me? I just changed a poopy diaper 20 minutes ago!

“Don’t move!” Thankfully it’s in a tub right? (Optimism gets me through the day.) Poop has been transferred to the toilet, now to disinfect. Joys of motherhood. And finally, let’s get to that hair. That is not coming off. I can’t use acetone, this is too close to your eye. What am I going to do? Shave your head? Well, looks like you are going to live with it for a while.

I have a headache. “Everybody downstairs.” I am not doing laundry right now, someone has to keep an eye on the baby. Drats laundry, you win again.

“Yes, Elijah you can have your snack now.” While we’re in the kitchen I should get started on dinner. Crockpot dinner tonight! We need to eat early because Naomi has gymnastics. 

Still, somehow I know these are the best days of my life. I want to cherish every moment. A couple weeks ago, my then still 3 year old said when it was raining “maybe the clouds are crying” -a theory he discovered all on his own. A couple days later, my 5 year old daughter was not feeling well and misquoted a popular saying by explaining “I’m feeling over the weather.” People always say it goes by so fast, and I know it’s true. In the midst of it, it feels fleeting.

So, I am by choice a stay-at-home mom. Coincidingly, I realize the importance of “mommy time”, the need to preserve my sanity and identity. I still have goals! However for me, right now, it’s a necessity that takes a back seat to the priority of “being mommy”. As for my writing career, my prospective coffee shop, my strategy du jour; I’m still dreaming.


Sometimes I wake up with such big aspirations… which could also be referred to as small attainable goals. I get my game plan together: “Today I need to give the middle kids a bath.” (Side note: The eldest and youngest got theirs last night. I’m not one of those “crazy” people who think you need to bathe every day… And I’m just kidding about thinking people who shower every day are crazy. Many members of my family are everyday people. More power to you. I’m just more of an every other day type of person.) Ok, let’s get back on track. So on the day’s list is “Give the middle kids a bath; Enroll Isaiah in flag football, sign Naomi up for gymnastics, and call about soccer for Elijah; remind my husband about scheduling the windshield replacement; email the guy about the travel trailer; catch up on laundry (my nemesis); etc.

I realize this all sounds very doable. And in theory I agree. Of course, there is the regular daily stuff to do too. I wake up, change the baby, pour a cup of coffee, pack Isaiah’s lunch, start breakfast for four kids (a special menu for the baby, no dairy means no butter, pancakes (with milk), cheese, yogurt…), unload and load the dishwasher… Have I read my Bible today? Did I yesterday? I really need to get on the treadmill. Today is the day I’m going to count calories. Get the baby off of the kitchen table. Who’s calling my name. Oh, Elijah needs help in the bathroom (my newly potty-trained big boy!). Shoot, where’s the baby. “Mom! Noah is on the stairs!” Ok, run to get the baby before he gets into Isaiah’s lego-land. Ugh, did he poop? Change the baby’s diaper (2 down, umpteen to go). Oh no, I need to roll the sausage over. The toast is probably cold- Isaiah won’t eat butter if he can see it. Ok, gather everyone to the table. Elijah got his own water from the fridge… get a towel before everyone soaks their socks. Is that lip gloss on the kitchen cabinet? “Naomi, did you put on lip gloss?” Check her face. Affirmative. “Did you leave a lip print on the cabinet?” Add to list Magic Eraser the cabinet. What’s in the baby’s mouth. Oh my gosh, Owen left his socks on the floor. “No, Noah don’t put that in your mouth!” Ok, time to eat. (I will spare you all of the details. It’s mostly just constant reminders for the children to actually put the food in their mouth, and for the baby to sit down; because he is a master of high chair escape.) There is at least 1 spill, probably more. What time is it? Isaiah go brush your teeth, your bus will be here in 10 minutes. Start the clean up. Make sure Isaiah’s lunch, snack and water bottle are in his bag. “Mom! Noah is on the table again!” Save Noah. Watch Isaiah get on the bus. Elijah asks for a snack. I reply we just had breakfast.

Wow, what was I supposed to do today? Because it’s not even 8:30 am, and I could really use a nap.