It feels like forever since I’ve had a blog. In reality it’s been about a year since I took my leave of absence. But the time has been filled to the brim with changes and transformations, including some major life adjustments. We sold our home, purchased a home, and moved our family to a new area. We dealt with some serious illnesses. (Encore anyone?) We had to make really important decisions- the overwhelming kind (no pressure). Oh the joy of life’s crash courses… In short, I’ve come to this… I’m a writer. I love it. I miss my blog! There was a part of me a year ago that really thought I was a farmer. I’m not. There’s still a part of me that wishes I was, but reality is- I’m not. In almost every event that has transpired over the year, I would imagine how I would translate it into text. I would go over the wordy details in my head, while sitting in the hospital room or before falling asleep. It was my coping mechanism and mental relief (well, that and a lot of prayer). I love to write! …I didn’t make cheese. Never once did I wish I had animals to feed or crops to water. Honestly, I really can’t even fathom the extra responsibility.
There was one morning over the summer (which also feels like forever ago) when I hadn’t even made breakfast yet, and the humidity outside was like 100% (not really… but close) and the temperature was on track to be in the high 90’s. Even with the air-conditioning on, I was hot and I didn’t feel like making breakfast for myself and four kids. It was then that I knew that the last thing I wanted to do was go collect eggs or feed the hypothetical livestock. It was clear to me: I am not a farmer… and I’m turning into my mother.
I remember reading the forward of Homestead Kitchen, by Eve and Eiven Kilcher, written by Jewell, where she was expressing her admiration for the hard work they put into their farming and gardening. She was acknowledging her fondness for self sustainable living and responsible practices for growing and raising food… and admitting that her role lies in supporting those practices as a conscientious consumer. I read her forward thinking to myself, “You’re a Kilcher! What would I give for that kind of opportunity!?!” But here I am… a little further down the road of self-awareness, relating more to the self expression of Jewell rather than the homesteader in Eve and Eiven. Who knew? Probably everyone that knows me. But I had to explore the idea of it.
So, here I am, still a habitual dreamer- but an inspired writer! I am a totally overwhelmed mother of four who still loves to cook and entertain… with a lot to say. I’ve missed this! Some of you have stayed in touch, and a few have asked me to come back. It means a lot. Thank you! I’m happy to be here. 🙂